I'm Innocent, Honey
by antz2u
Summary: Haruka was 'couched' by Michiru for the wrong reason. Drabble. Please R&R.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I did not own any characters from the anime Sailomoon.

A/N: Short humor stories from me, though I find it is not as humorous as I imagined. Nevermind. Today is my offday. I have the time. Enjoy.

* * *

Haruka changed into tracksuit and prepared for the morning jog. Before she left the room, she turned around to catch a glimpse of a slim figure, lying on the bed. Haruka smiled sweetly at the sight and couldn't help herself from getting close to her beloved girlfriend and placed a peek on her cheek. Michiru stirred and clasped tightly on Haruka's tracksuit.

"Haruka……" Michiru murmured in her sleep.

Haruka smiled again. "You are so sweet honey. No wonder I'm so madly in love with you." Haruka kissed Michiru's forehead lovingly. With one last glance at her girlfriend, Haruka was ready for her morning run but soon Haruka found she had difficulty in leaving her spot. Michiru's hand was still holding tightly on Haruka's tracksuit. Haruka tried to loosen Michiru's finger one by one but she quickly left the fingers alone when she saw Michiru stirred again. Haruka sighed. With Michiru holding her tracksuit so tightly, she had no choice but to cancel her daily routine. Furthermore, as Haruka lifted the blanket a little, Haruka found that Michiru's naked, creamy body was so inviting, so, maybe it wasn't a bed idea to stay in bed with her lovely Michiru for this morning.

Haruka crawled onto the bed and nuzzled herself close to Michiru's body. Michiru instinctively wrapped her arm on Haruka's neck and pulled herself closer to Haruka.

"Levvvuuuu…Ruka…." Michiru murmured again.

"I love you too, Michi." Not long, Haruka was fast asleep with Michiru by her side.

When Michiru woke up in the morning, surprisingly she found Haruka was still on the bed instead of having her usual morning jog. Michiru decided to wake up Haruka up in a way that Haruka loved the most. Michiru pressed her lips gentle on Haruka's.

"Wake up honey……" Michiru lingered her lips at Haruka's mouth.

Haruka mumbled some unclear words then slowly opened her eyes.

Michiru decided to give another kiss to her Ruka when she spotted something and her eyes widened at once. Michiru kicked Haruka off from her bed and Haruka yelped when she landed on the carpet with a 'thud' sound.

"What's wrong Michi?" Haruka rubbed her painful butt.

"Tenoh Haruka! How many times do I have to tell you to take your bath first after you morning run before you get on to my bed?" Michiru was shooting daggers at Haruka now.

"But Michi…..it wasn't my fault. This morning you were holding…….." Haruka wanted to explain but it seemed Michiru didn't want to hear any excuses from Haruka.

"Couch tonight, Tenoh." Michiru ordered.

"I'm innocent, honey."


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: I did not own anycharacters from th anime Sailormoon.

A/N: Wow. So far so good for the Part 1. Thanks for the reviews. Here is the Part 2.

* * *

A stormy night was replaced by a golden, bright, shining sun. It was a day where Hotaru was free from his class, Haruka was free from her racing practice and Michiru was free from her violin rehearsal. Pity for Setsuna, she was on her early fight to Kusyu to attend a meeting for her third successive fashion show.

An energetic Hotaru and a reluctant Haruka were assigned by their elegant mother and wife to mow their weedy garden, while the elegant mother and wife kept herself busy at the nearest supermarket by refilling the stock in the fridge which will run out soon.

"Say Hime-chan. Why does your papa has to labour herself at the garden instead of curling comfortably under the blanket? Today is Sunday. My off day." Haruka grumbled.

Hotaru giggled when she saw her always champion papa was defeated this time by a tiny, harmless woman but hold the ultimate superior over her papa. "Haruka-papa, imagine what will happen if you disobey Michiru-mama's order?"

Still squatting down, Haruka rested her both arms on her knees and stared through the cloud. An image of couch slowly crept into Haruka's mind. Haruka shivered involuntarily when she thought of it. She quickly got up with a new determination, got the mow machine and shook the scary thought out of her mind.

Suddenly, Haruka noticed a black figure (looks like heartless at Kingdom hearts game) was crawling out from the earth. The dark figure was fully covered with mud except for the sparkling evil red eyes which were clearly visible to the naked eyes.

"It's youma, papa." Hotaru shouted and took her henshin stick out.

"Ah… good. They came at the right time. I need someone to release my anger now." Without wasting for a second Haruka transformed to Sailor Uranus. "Uranus Power Make Up!" "World Shaking!"

The youma turned into dust after Uranus's World Shaking hit the target.

"Too easy." Uranus grinned cockily. But much to Uranus's surprise, few more youmas appeared from the earth again. Uranus managed to destroy all the youmas in a very short time, but more and more youmas were crawling out from the earth. Not long, the garden was fully occupied by the youmas. The youmas was giggling at Sailor Uranus and Sailor Saturn.

"Uranus, they are expanding in fast pace." Saturn held her gaive tightly.

Uranus swallowed hard. She was at her wit's end. They were outnumbered by the uncountable youmas. Before Uranus can defeat the all the youmas, sure she will die from exhaustion first.

"Let me deal with them." Saturn raised her glave high over her head.

Uranus's eyes almost popped out when Saturn swung her glaive. "No…..you will destroy the world, Saturn."

It was too late. Saturn had completed the cycle.

Storm came in to take over the sky. Soon, Uranus can feel the earthquake under her feet. Uranus pulled Saturn to her side and embraced her tightly. "I love you, Hime-chan. Remember that." Uranus whispered at Saturn's ear. "Michiru, you will always be the only woman that I loved. From the Silver Millennium, in this life, and till the infinite future. I love you." This time Haruka whispered the words to herself. Haruka let her tears fall down freely from her eyes.

"Haruka-papa, you are holding me too tight. I can't breath." Hotaru pulled herself away from the tight hug.

Haruka was surprised to see Hotaru was still by her side. Haruka turned around and saw the Tenoh's mansion was still proudly stood at the same place. Haruka herself was still kneeling at the same weedy garden, feeling confused. "If this is heaven, I'm willing to stay at here forever with my family."

"Don't be silly Haruka-papa. We are still alive." Hotaru pinched at Haruka's cheek to prove her words.

"Ouch! It hurts, Hime-chan." Haruka rubbed the red spot on her face with her hand.

"See…" Hotaru grinned.

"But how come……….."

"Papa, Setsuna-mama had teach me how to control my powers. Didn't she tell you bout it?"

"That old woman….." Uranus cursed at Setsuna silently.

At the same time, Michiru was on her way back to the house through the front gate. She was mad, wet and dirty. Earlier, when she came out from the supermarket to collect her car, another car from the other direction ran across a puddle of mud and splashed the mud all over at Michiru's body. From head to toe. There was only 1 thing on Michiru's mind now and that was shower.

Hotaru noticed the 'muddy figure' walking in through the front gate and alerted her papa. "Papa, there is 1 more youma. I think this one is the boss because she's bigger than the earlier youma."

"Ok. Leave it to me." Uranus locked the target with her hawk teal eyes and attacked it at once. "World Shaking……….!"

Uranus's electric ball forced its way to the 'boss'. The boss landed flatly against the tree and slowly slide to the ground. Haruka poised a victory sign and again there was the cocky grin on her face.

Hotaru went near the tree to check for the 'boss'. Her eyes were wide opened when she saw the boss's aquamarine hair. Hotaru ran back into the mansion with lightning speed leaving Haruka alone in the garden. Before Hotaru shut the door, Hotaru turned around to face her papa. "Papa, Hime-chan loves you too. But the fact is my bed is too small for two people. So...You know what I mean right papa?" Hotaru flashed out an apologetic smile to her papa the quickly closed the door behind her.

"Huh?" Haruka raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"HA-RU-KA."

Haruka froze when she heard the familiar voice. Her eyes were still fixed on the 'boss' who was slowly got on her feet. Fiery blue eyes were shooting daggers at timid teal eyes.

"Mi…..mi…michi…?" Haruka stammered when she recognized the 'boss'.

"Tenoh Haruka!"

"Michi….I can explain this."

"Couch for 1 week Tenoh!"

Haruka went on her knees like a defeated warrior. "I'm innocent, honey."


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer

* * *

Michiru rolled herself around for the umpteenth times for the night. She was trying hard to get some sleep before the moon let the sun took over her place but the night without Haruka was miserable to Michiru. Like usual, Michiru stretched her hand out of habit to get her 'personal comforter' whenever she had restless night, but this time the other side of her bed was empty and her hand was clawing at nothing but the thin air. Michiru groaned in desperation, then she sighed. "Maybe I was too harsh to Haruka."

'Thud.' "Ouch!" Haruka cursed silently and rubbed her swollen forehead when she dropped from the couch for the 4th time in the night. Her legs were tangled with the blanket and she was having difficulty in crawling back to her couch. Haruka furiously kicked the blanket away. Still swearing under her breath, Haruka get her body up from the ground and dropped back to the couch in sitting position. Haruka sighed. Her mind ran like her car engine to figure out for the way to get her 'detention' time shortened.

"Ruka………"

Haruka knew too well to whom the voice belong to. The sweetness in the voice plus the pet name was enough to convince Haruka her days with the couch was about to come to an end. Haruka took a deep breath to suppress her victorious laughter before she turned her head around to meet with her restless, lovely wife.

"Ruka…………" Michiru took the seat beside Haruka. Gently, Michiru cupped Haruka's cheek and caressed Haruka's swollen forehead. "Fall from the couch again?"

Haruka nodded and pouted. Time to put on an act to get Michiru's sympathy.

Michiru sighed. "I'm sorry, Ruka. Maybe I was too harsh to you."

"_Yes, you were_." "No, you aren't, my love. You were just mad. I understand that." Haruka pulled Michiru closed for a tight embrace. "_Ok. I have everything under control. I have to put more passion in before Michiru changes her mind_. _It's now or never._" Haruka lifted Michiru's chin with her finger and pressed her lips on Michiru's. It didn't take long for the kiss to become passionate with tongues exploring each other mouth with pleasure. Haruka broke the kiss and trailed her lips down to Michiru's neck and stopped for some licking and sucking which caused Michiru started to moan and her body shivered. Haruka's hand sneaked into Michiru's nightgown, slowly made her way to Michiru's breast and squeezed it gentle.

"Oh…….Ruka…….." Michiru moaned louder. Not too loud to wake the other occupants up but it's enough to cover the footsteps sound that were coming down from the stairs.

"Haruka-papa……" Hotaru was hugging her favourite teddy bear, sobbing at the end of the staircase.

The two adults were too busy with their adult project and didn't notice Hotaru was crying.

"Haruka-papa…….." This time Hotaru walked to Haruka's side to try her luck again. Hotaru tugged her papa sleeves to get her papa attention.

Michiru yelped when she saw Hotaru and quickly covered her fully exposed breasts while Haruka got her shirt on with Uranus's fastest speed.

"What were papa and mama doing at here?" Hotaru asked. Grabbing her teddy bear tightly, Hotaru chose to sit in between her mama and papa.

Haruka rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "We were…er….…..well hime-chan, why are you crying?" Haruka decided to change the topic.

"I have a nightmare papa…." Hotaru answered in between the sobs.

"Hush…princess. It's just a nightmare. Don't be afraid. Papa is here." Haruka wrapped her arms around her daughter and rocked her gently.

"How bout mama?" Hotaru asked.

Michiru smiled. "Of course mama is here also hime-chan." Michiru patted her daughter's head lightly.

Hotaru smiled. Both Haruka and Michiru were relieved to see their princess smiled again. "Papa, can you sleep with me tonight?" Hotaru looked at her papa with puppy eyes.

"Err……." Haruka stared at Michiru then at Hotaru then backed to Michiru again. "_Shit. If I sleep with Hotaru tonight, my couching night will be far from over_." "Err…..hime-chan, your mama is sick today. Papa has to sleep with your mama to take care of her." "_Of her needs_."

"But…but….." Hotaru eyes started to well with tears again. "…..I'm scared papa."

"Er……." Haruka was speechless. Michiru crossed her hands on her chest waiting for Haruka to make her 'wise' decision.

"Papa can sleep with me and mama. Right mama?" Hotaru suggested with pleading eyes fixed on Michiru.

"Errmm..." Michiru scratched her head, undecided.

"NO!" Haruka started to get panic. "Princess, er….your mama is so sick that only papa can cure her. And it has to be alone. So…….."

Upon hearing this, tears were streaming down from Hotaru's eyes. "Papa doesn't love me anymore. Papa hates hime-chan. No one wants hime-chan anymore."

"Of course not." Haruka embraced Hotaru tightly. "Papa will never ever hate hime-chan."

"Really?" Hotaru's eyes were now gleaming in hope. Haruka nodded her head. "Papa will love hime-chan forever?" Again Haruka nodded her head. "Will listen to hime-chan's request?" Another nod from Haruka. "Will sleep with hime-chan tonight?"

"Of course my dear." Haruka replied automatically. Hotaru squealed in delight.

"Tenoh Haruka?"

"_Oh. Damm. What had I done? I totally forgot bout Michiru_." Haruka sweat dropped. For the first time in her life, Haruka wished for a youma right now.

Michiru lifted Hotaru up from the couch and smiling sweetly at her adopted daughter. "Hime-chan, I'm afraid papa is unable sleep with you tonight due to some reasons. Why don't you come to mama's room and spend the night with mama?"

Hotaru nodded her head vigorously with huge grin plastered on her face while Michiru started to walk back to her room.

"How bout me Michi?" Haruka had turned into a little cat under her lover's tigress gaze.

"Couch for another week, Tenoh."

"I'm innocent, honey." The great Tenoh was defeated again.

* * *

Started to run out of ideas...


	4. Part 4

Disclaimer: Not my original character. Just borrow them Naoko Takeuchi and Akira Toriyama.........

* * *

"What do you fear Ruka?"

"Tenoh Haruka fears nothing, Michi…."

It's true. Tenoh Haruka fears nothing. Not even when she almost lost her life at Marine Cathedral. Not even when her body slowly disappeared into thin air when she fought Sailor Galaxia. Not even when she was crowded with youmas. Not even Michiru's death because she knew they were destined to be together and their love story will be carried on to next life. Not even Sailor Saturn swung her glaive because it means a reborn for everyone. Carnivores, hideous little animals or insects, bad guys……….nah…Sailor Uranus was too strong for them.

But……a simple combination of 4 English letter words was enough to weaken Haruka's knees, to make her forehead trickling cold sweat, to let her mouth stayed agape, to let her eyebrows twitched nervously, to show the horror in her eyes, and to drain the colour out from her face.

**SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

With a big grin plastered on both Hotaru and Michiru's face, they dragged the almost lifeless Haruka into the mall.

"Hotaru, mama will reward you today for your perfect score on your last exam." Michiru smiled at Hotaru. Hotaru's sparkled with excitement as her mind had already listed out the things that can be added up to her collection. Following them closely from behind was their zombie lover and papa; covered by dejected aura that could kill a human within radius 10m around her.

"Oh…." Michiru suddenly stopped at her track and turned around to face lover. "Ruka….." Michiru smiled seductively at Haruka and wrapped her hand around her lover's neck.

Haruka eyed at her lover suspiciously. She swore she could see the devil horn appeared on Michiru's head. "Yes, honey?"

"I just remember I forgot to bring my purse out." Michiru pout a little and fake out a guilt face.

"_This is a trap!_" Haruka had to think fast. "Why don't we go back first……Ouch!!!!!!"

Haruka yelped when Michiru high heel make contact with her foot.

"Yes Ruka?" Michiru high heel was still firmly place on Haruka's foot but the pressure on Haruka's foot had diminished. "What are you trying to say Ruka?" Michiru was still smiling sweetly at Haruka as nothing had happened.

Hotaru covered her mouth with both hands, trying hard to stifle her giggle when she saw her Michiru mama was actually threatening her papa.

In order to save her poor leg Haruka had no choice but to reluctantly hand out her wallet to Michiru. "I was trying to say you can use my cards first, love." Haruka looked longingly at her wallet. She could see the wallet was flipping it's 'wings', slowly flying away from her.

Michiru's smile broadened and kissed Haruka passionately. "Thanks honey." Michiru took Haruka's wallet away then get her adopted daughter and happily started their shopping spree journey.

"That kiss can go into Guiness World of Record as the most expensive kiss in the world." Haruka mumbled to herself and sighed deeply. "Witch…."

"What is it Ruka?" Michiru make an abruptly 180 degrees turn and narrowed her eyes on Haruka.

Haruka almost had a heart attack when her words were overheard by Michiru. "I …..I said….er… I love you honey. Very very much." Haruka was laughing nervously by now.

"I love you too, love." Michiru carried on with her plan again and at last Haruka was safe.

* * *

Shopping with women, especially Michiru was a painful experience to Haruka. Usually at this type of situation Haruka would search for her own entertainment. Haruka stopped at a bookshop and decided to spend the day at there and her first section would be sports section. Something caught Haruka's eyes and she whistled.

"Well, this can be interesting." Haruka grinned evilly to herself.

Haruka saw a cute girl was reading a F1 magazine at the sports section. The girl seemed oblivious to her surrounding and it was a great opportunity for Haruka to have some fun. Haruka walked silently to the girl side and purposely bumped at the girl's shoulder.

"Opss..I'm sorry." Haruka apologized, not forget to flash out her killer smile. When the girl met her eyes with Haruka's, the girl screamed; just according to Haruka's plan. Haruka was mentally laughing out loud now.

"Kimi Raikonen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Haruka's jaw hit the ground at once. Then there was silence. 3 cartoon crows flying across their heads.

"Kimi? Raikonen?" Haruka couldn't believe her ears.

"Although I'm big fan of Lewis Hamilton but I remember your blond hair Kimi." The girl grasped Haruka's hands in delight. Her eyes were sparkling like a diamond, staring intently at her so called Kimi Raikonen.

"I'm last season F1 world champion. Even Lewis Hamilton has to eat my dust and you little rascal dare to mistaken me as Kimi?! What the hell….." Haruka lost all her cool screaming at the girl. Never in Haruka's life had she felt humiliated like today. She was always the charmer but now……

The cute little girl's eyes turned into slit when she heard the words. "So you are the infamous crossdresser, Tanaka Lucy?"

"It's Tenoh Haruka, little rascal."

The girl merely rolled her eyes. "Whatever…You better watch out, Lucy. Lewis Hamilton will kick your ass next season." With that being said, the little girl turned on her heel on walked away.

"It's Tenoh Haruka you little scumbag and I will make sure to keep on feeding dust to Hamilton." Haruka shouted back. Haruka huffed angrily and stormed out of the bookshop, leaving all the confused eyeballs behind.

* * *

The day never went better for Haruka. Just that Haruka thought she had met the worst, Haruka saw a sexy office lady passed by in front of her. Haruka whistled again.

"Maybe the day is not so bad after all." Haruka chuckled.

Haruka followed the girl from behind, noticing the OL's hips swayed seductively. Haruka licked her dry lips and chuckled again. While her brain was cracking for a way to get the OL's attention, Kami had decided to lend a helping hand to Haruka in this little game.

The OL strangely slipped inelegantly with both hands threw into air in unladylike manner. In a blink of eyes, Haruka supported the OL on her waist and spun around in slow motion mode. The surrounding area suddenly turned black. A spotlight was centered on them just like the interaction between main actor and main actress in a romantic movie. But the reality is………

When their eyes met, shock could be clearly seen on Haruka's face. Haruka covered her mouth to prevent from vomiting in the public while the other hand pulled back at once from the OL's waist. The sight in front of Haruka almost cut Haruka's breath short, but in the wrong way. Bright red lipstick on the OL's extraordinary thick lips were pressing together like a pair of sausage. Dark black smokey eyes; more like a pair of panda eyes to Haruka. And the foundation on her face almost like an inch thick cement plastered on her face. The OL turned out to be a woman in late fifties with Nippon colourful paint on her face; 100% contrast with pretty OL in Japanese drama. The disaster sight in front of her had motivated Haruka to run away in Uranus speed without being transformed into Sailor Uranus.

* * *

When Haruka had make sure she was safe, Haruka sat on a wooden bench to catch her breath. Haruka sighed. "Kami sure likes to make fool of me. Come on give me a break. I can't suffer any heart attack anymore." Haruka buried her face on her hands and sighed again. "Maybe I should just join Michiru." With head hung low, Haruka reluctantly carried her tired feet to search for Michiru.

Haruka called Michiru and met at promised place. A girl with aqua marine hair caught Haruka's attention. Although the girl's back was facing Haruka, but there was no way for Haruka will mistook someone else as Michiru……..at least it's what she thought. Haruka snaked her arm around the girl's waist and buried her face on the aquamarine wavy hair. "I miss you so much honey." Haruka exhaled deeply, took Michiru's scent with her. Haruka frowned. "_Why the scents smell different?_"

As Haruka was about to pulled her head away, Haruka was welcomed by a hoarse voice. "Really? I never expect I have admirer too." The girl laughed in a croaky voice.

Haruka jumped 1 step behind and studied the girl in front of him. Haruka's jaw hit the ground for the second time when she saw a transvestite resembled Shinobu from Crayon Sin Chan comic giving a flying kiss to Haruka. While Haruka's mouth was still agape, feet were still rooted at the same place, 'Shinobu' took this change to jump at Haruka like a lion pawed on her victim, and wrapped her hand around Haruka's torso. When Haruka got her senses back, she struggled to free herself away from Shinobu and at the same time the real Michiru appeared in front of Haruka.

Michiru stared at Haruka with fiery eyes while standing in akimbo style. "Tenoh Haruka!"

Haruka stopped her struggle and froze when she heard the angelic yet stern voice.

"Of all the girls in this world you flirt with……with……" Michiru pointed her shaky finger at Shinobu "……this…….transvestite!" At this time Michiru's face was as red as tomato due to anger. "Couch for……for…..till I satisfied, Tenoh." With that being said, Michiru dragged the clueless Hotaru away.

"I'm innocent, honey."

* * *

**Funny Epiloque**.

"It's all because of you!!!!!!!" There was only hatred on Haruka's eyes and the eyes were shooting daggers at Shinobu. Before Shinobu could ran away, Haruka gathered all her energy and anger and transformed into new form of Uranus. The sailor fuku was still the same but Haruka's blond hair had turned into spiky style and she was covered with golden aura. Haruka blasted a World Shaking at Shinobu and sent Shinobu to the other side of the world.

"Wow….." Both Naoko Takeuchi and Akira Toriyama who was hanging out together at the mall, locked their unbelievable eyes on new form of Sailor Uranus. "Super Saiyan Sailor Uranus?!" They shouted in unison.


End file.
